Connection

I’m currently feeling:
Alone.

My thoughts creating this feeling :
You can still be with someone and be alone, especially if you barely speak and receive no intimacy at all. Yesterday C and I barely said anything to each other all day.. We hadn’t argued or anything like that, just had nothing to say to each other. this is becoming an increasing thing. Last night we went to bed and for the I don’t know how many night in a row he gave me a perfunctory kiss goodnight then turned his back to me. We are more like house sharing mates than husband and wife or lovers.

My desired feeling:
connection.

Thoughts to practice to create my desired feeling:
We’ve been married 25 years, things are less energetic than they once were. He’s never really been much different apart from the early years when he wanted to impress me. I too have changed over the years and now speak less and am less motivated to be spontaneous. We are just growing older and are comfortable in each others company.

I’ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
Chosen an outfit today that accentuates my best assets to make myself feel sexier even if it’s wasted on others.
Got a relaxed day at work however tasks that need completing before tomorrow.

I will show up for myself by:
Regulating my mind over my insecurities in our relationship.

I will show up for my extraordinary goal by:
Create the workgroup presentation and copy it to others for safety.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
clearing the stuff C has dumped on my desk in the study.

Today I am:
Mastering my feelings about my lack of intimacy from my husband.

Today I am grateful for:
The person I am becoming and the opportunity to learn and grow