Serenity

I’m currently feeling:
Angry.

My thoughts creating this feeling :
I have worked hard with Lambeth Pallacce to draw up guide lines for what ranging should take place when and how during this period of national mourning. Ringers are getting confused by slightly guidance that came from the Church of England that slightly alters the thoughts. This led to much confusion being posted on social media, and multiple emails bombarding my inbox throughout the day yesterday. Later in the evening I spoke with our organisations President to try to come up with some clarity. I posted this out and again had a barrage of abuse about it all being a shambles and most of this is being led by my own stepson in law. My step daughter was also messaging my husband last night instead of me about it. I didn’t sleep very well and feel extremely emotional and tired and like I want to resign from everything right now. My husband was also not very supportive last night yet wants to cuddle up this morning. Unless he’s actually noticed how upset and angry I am and is trying to placate me. We are going wito London this evening for a formal dinner and right now I don’t feel like I want to go. I can’t stop the tears for now.

My desired feeling:
Serenity.

Thoughts to practice to create my desired feeling:
I did the best I could with the information I had. Ringers will always pick holes in what others do. They want guidance but then don’t want to follow thatguidance. They also don’t want to help develop that guidance because then they’ll have nothing to moan about. It is not my responsibility to worry about every single interpretation , local ringers should be speaking to local churches. At the end of the day so long as some raising takes place sometime that’s all that matters. I can master my own thoughts and whether I want to continue to let this get to me. I have an eveng out lined up and should be more concerned about what I’m going to wear.

I’ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
I am wearing light casual clothes during the day and will decide which formal dress to wear for this evening and with what jewellry and shoes. By the time we get there I will have got myself out of my current mood and let other peoples worries be there’s not mine.

I will show up for myself by:
Taking care of my own well being and not letting other people dictate how my mind should work.

I will show up for my extraordinary goal by:
Letting things play out for the day and no longer responding to messages and emails. / coil mix with other ringers this evening as if nothing was the matter.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
Attending a formal dinner in Charing Cross this evening with friends good company,good food and drink.

Today I am:
Not going to let the bastards get me down.

Today I am grateful for:
This journalling process and learning how to master my own thoughts and feelings.