Festive

I’m currently feeling:
Excited.

My thoughts creating this feeling :
Sort of. I don’t really get excited in the giddy sense, more a case of looking forward to doing something pleasant, or seeing someone I want to spend time with. Tonight we are going to our local RHS gardens to see Glow, the christmas lights extravaganza the part on each year. The trees and bushes are all festooned with coloured lights, some flash in time to music, others lead you through the paths on a discovery journey. There’s usually christmas fayre , food and drinks too, although when we’ve been before, we’ve never partaken. Personally I think it’s all part of the experience but C always says its overpriced and we don’t need it anyway. It’s probably going to be below O degrees when we get there and the snow still on the ground which will make it even more Christmassy. I’m hoping this will nudge me into more of a Christmas spirit as we enter the last week before Christmas Day. We don’t have a tree or decorations up, we may put something up this week just to show willing.

My desired feeling:
Festive.

Thoughts to practice to create my desired feeling:
I don’t really know why but I’ve never really got excited about Christmas. I tried when R was little but for me I’ve always thought it overly commercialised, stressful and a bit of a waste of time, money and energy. You end up over eating and drinking, feeling obliged to spend time with people who get on your nerves all day. Usually givengifts that you didn’t want or have use for. so wasting someare else’s money. Its all rather contrived. When we were children we had a few christmas traditions around ringing early in the meaning, trudging home for a cooked breakfast. Going back for more ringing then opening presents whilst dinner was cooking. We never went anywhere or saw anyone. In married life we’re never really made a big deal of it. Tried to make it special for the kids but C is all a bit bah humbug. He’s really difficult to buy gifts for. He doesn’t like that, and has specific hobby interests meaning he actually has to tell me what he wants, which he struggles to come up with ideas for, and it takes the surprise out of it. R’s the same really. I can usually come up with some stocking fillers for her though around perfume, chocolates etc. I would much rather do something and have a memorable experience than materialistic stuff. Rather go away for a few days, enjoy staying in a hotel, luxury dining and visiting places of interest, trying a new activity. I have whistful dreams of having the perfect Chistmassy house, cosy and tastefully decorated. Handmade treats and gifts, everyone sat watching fins or playing games, laughing and enjoying each others company. Never happens though. Perhaps I should work on that for next year.

I’ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
It’s not going to get much above O degrees, we need to go into town later, then off to the light show, so layers and warmth the order of the day. Jeans, tshirt that can tuck in to keep the draught out, jumper. Thick coat, hat, gloves and scarf with furry lined boots. I’m going to do some more Christmas shopping and get ready for tonight so hopefully feel a bit more festive.

I will show up for myself by:
Allowing myself to indulge in some christmas cheesy films or music, or something to lift the spirits.

I will show up for my extraordinary goal by:
Choosing gifts for friends that reflect what they mean tome, and show I’ve thought about them specifically rather than generic gifts requiring no thought.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
Clearing the pile of ironing today. We were out last Sunday so it didn’t get done then. And we’re out this Sunday so it won’t get done then either. C says he’s running out of long sleeved rugby shirts and R is coming have her 24 hours so I’d like it to be a bit tidier for her.

Today I am:
Aiming for festive.

Today I am grateful for:
Being able to go gift shopping for friends and family. Having the money to do so, having people to think about and buy for, the time to browse and occasions to meet up.