Happy

I’m currently feeling:
Happy.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
We collected R yesterday. Drove down to Kingston which took much longer than usual because of various traffic issues. However, she was ready and waiting when we pulled up at her hat. We parked the car and loaded her stuff, then walked to her nearest chinese restaurant, where she’s tried to get us into several times before. This time she’d booked so there was no problem. She was happy and chatty, came in for hug voluntarily and seemed happy in the car. When we got home she feel straight with daughter mode and wanted a hot chocolate drink.Then got excited when C asked if we’d had our advent calendar chocolate. She came over to steal my blanket and mucked about kicking off and stealing one of my slippers. Luckily I had other chocolate I could share with her. It was a lovely moment of silliness. We settled down to watch some to before bed.

My desired feeling:
Happy.

Thoughts to practice to create my desired feeling:
I’d like to maintain that sense of happiness all day today, as we gather for Dad’s birthday. I do find meeting with all my siblings, their others and children, and my mum and abad overwhelming at times. Everything revolves around my brother and his family. My eldest sister always plays the martyr, and my other sister has always been a favourite. I have always felt an outsider, nothing in common with any of them. Mum likes to hold court and expects everyone to fuss over her all the time. I find it quite draining to be able to either hold my tongue, or indeed hold a conversation. I try to be engaged and not let myself get wound up by it all, but do find myself on the edge of everything because I don’t pander to everyones self obsessions. However, it’s Dads birthday treat and nearly christmas, so I’ll put on my best face, swallow my own insecurities and make the best of it. I leave made Dad a cake, partly because everyone will have expected me to. That will be my peace offering.

I’ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
I am rocking a rock chick christmas glam look. Burgundy fake leather trousers and a waiter jumper that looks like Something the Princess of Wales would wear. Gold bracelet and necklace, and gold and diamond earrings. Practical for ringing, a bit glammed up for dinner but warm and feminine. I will be happy and cheery, pleased to see everyone and enter into the spirit of it all.

I will show up for myself by:
Entering into the spirit of the gathering. Using Charm the Room skills to engage with everyone and enjoy the event.

I will show up for my extraordinary goal by:
Beci’s elegant, charming and feminine. Beeis engaging and happy being with everyone.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
Dining out with family.

Today I am:
Gowns to enjoy myself, whatever.

Today I am grateful for:
R being happy and home. She is my world and although we don’t always talk, it’s lovely to see her revert to child when she’s home and be comfortable and happy to be here.