Myself

I’m currently feeling:
Daring.

My thoughts creating this feeling :
I am really pushing the limits of what I feel comfortable wearing out in public. We’re not going anywhere other than into town later, and I’ll have a coat on then covering it all up, but even just hanging around at home is probably the limit for C to see me wearing. It’s an outfit I’ve thought about for a long time since I first bought it, and I’ve never had the guts to wear it before, but today I’m feeling daring, and so what.

My desired feeling:
Myself.

Thoughts to practice to create my desired feeling:
In my 20s I’d have worn this sort of thing in public and not given it a second thought. In fact I would have probably been even more daring. I realise I’m not in my 20s anymore and have a bit extra around the middle, but why shouldn’t I wear what makes me feel fabulous? I wouldn’t wear this it I were meeting other people, certainly not for ringing. So I want to be more me when I’m at home or leisure. I have made a concession and added an extra layer to cover it up a bit, but come the summer time, I could wear it uncovered.

I’ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
I almost went for a miniskirt this morning but couldn’t find the black one. Instead I am wearing jeans. The top half is all there though. Black and gold bra with the matching teddy over the top. In the summer I could wear it as it is, but for an extra layer and to love it down a bit, over the top of that I’m wearing a black silk blouse, completely undone. Essentially, my underwear is on display. I have a gold cuff bracelet, gold dangling earrings and a Pandora charm necklace that sits at the top of the curve of my breasts. I feel fabulous, sexy, daring and wanton. I feel more of my old self.

I will show up for myself by:
Being more like my old self. Alluring, sexy, free spirited. I want to be more of me in the coming year and with my EG in mind and my word of the year, I want to become the woman I was, and who I am meant to be.

I will show up for my extraordinay goal by:
I need to do some ringing admin today. I couldn’t get any done yesterday as C was on the computer all day, up until about 11:30pm. I’ll jump on it whilst he’s in the bathroom.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
The flower stall should be in town today so I’ll get some new flowers. The stems and twigs I bought, nearly 4 weeks ago are still going well and some of the twisted willow is even sprouting. But, time for a charge.

Today I am:
Being me. Who I was, who I am and who I will be.

Today I am grateful for:
Opportunities to express myself. In words, in actions, in vocabulary and in my choice of clothes. For too many years now, part of me has been repressed, but now I am awakening and remembering.