Reassured

I’m currently feeling:
Unnerved.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
I went for my cervical smear test yesterday morning. The nurse and I were chatting.as she was setting up, about perimenopause symptoms and such. I mentioned I’d had a blood pressure and cholesterol check done at work before Christmas and had been told my BP was quite high and I should keep an eye on it. The nurse suggested we just check it now and see. She was not happy with the result and asked me to sit in the waiting room after we’d finished, for 5 minutes and use the machine there to take another reading and hand it to a receptionist. That I did. The receptionist took it though to the nurse are asked me to sit for another 5 minutes and take another reading. That I did. The reading had gone even higher now probably because I was getting anxious by everyones responses. The receptionist actually swore when she read thee latestone and told me to wait. She came back after what seemed ages and told me to take a seat and wait to be called to see a Doctor. Well, of course now my BP went wild. Why? Am I about to keel over? I don’t really like going to the Drs at the best of times, I’m not a sickly person and don’t like wasting time. Now I had to wait another hour before seeing a rather nice young, male doc. He took my BP again and listened to my heart. He’s prescribed me some tablets, which may either be harmful to my Kidneys, or be good for them, depending how my body reacts, i’ve got a slip for having some blood tests, and booked in for an ECG. I was fine til I went to the Drs. I don’t have any outward symptoms. Its now a waiting game to see how I react to the tablets, what the bloods and ECG say. Welcome to middle age I guess!

My desired feeling:
Reassured.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to tell if I have a reaction to the tablets or not. I’ll have to wait and see if my BP drops. C has a home monitoring kit I can use to check on it. The Dr suggested I wait a couple of weeks before completing the diary to allow the tablets to start to take effect. I don’t do ill and am not a fan of taking pills. However, if there is something underlying wrong, at least it may have been caught sooner.

My morning is not going according to how l thought it would this time yesterday. C was going out ringing. I was going to h have a leisurely walk into town, get my steps up for our challenge then buy something nice for lunch, bake a cake and such like. A phone call last night asked if I could also ring because someone had dropped out due to a shoulder injury. I couldn’t very well say no in this instance. And besides, scoring more peals is on my wish list. We’re out at another District’s meeting this afternoon, so no chance of getting much walking in, or popping into town.

I’ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
Peal ringing practical clothes required then. Jeans and a thin orange jumper to add a bit of colour, without being too hot. Comfy socks and books suitable for standing still for 3 hours. Fingers crossed we’ll score the peal which will be a positive start to the day. I don’t have to do anything at this afternoons meeting other than be sociable.

I will show up for myself by:
I didn’t get much sleep last night. Lay awake for ages mulling things over, woke up a couple of times, woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. Thoughts travelled from reliving the conversations at the GPs yesterday, work relating things I need to get done next week, messages I’ve started setting from a former colleague about meeting up and when I can possibly fit that in, and all sorts of other trivial nonsense. I’m going to allow myself grace to rest throughout today as opportunities present themselves. I’m not going to hustle to get other things done that can wait.

I will show up for my extraordinary goal by:
Hopefully, the two documents I sent off yesterday will be received well and allow the next stage to progress. I’m not going to do any more writing or emails today.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
Visiting the NW district for the ADM and looking around Harlow Common church and surroundings.

Today I am:
Tired.

Today I am grateful for:
The nurse, receptionist and Dr I saw yesterday, all whom took my symptoms seriously and offered guidance on what to do next calmly and reassuringly.