Predisposed

I’m currently feeling:
Desolate.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
Well, not quite that bad. R went back to hers yesterday evening. We’d spent a lovely afternoon wandering around Hyde Hall before she went then discovered their shop was shut and their cafe had run out of fruit scones for a cream tea. We had wanted to buy a new plant for one of our garden tubs. C and I may go back there this afternoon.

Considering we’d said we weren’t going to do Easter eggs this year, we still seemed to have a collection of chocolate. C had bought us both a Lindt bunny but hadn’t realised they were white chocolate instead of milk. He’d also bought a large tub of Lindt chocolate truffles. I don’t mind them, but only in small doses. I also got given a chocolate orange egg which is much more my thing. I haven’t actually eaten much, if any, chocolate since Christmas, and haven’t missed it. I did eat the chocolate orange egg, but not the contents, yesterday and felt a bit sick. I really didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought and was mindlessly shoving it in. Goes to show I’ve changed my preferred eating habits.

I didn’t get around to a JWW either. By the time we’d got back from Hyde Hall, had a cup of tea and R started to get ready to go, it was nearly 7pm and I had a meeting at 7.30pm. I’m very self conscious around exercising. I don’t like C watching me, he tends to snigger, and also if I’m not quite keeping up or doing it properly, he’ll make fun of me.

However, I did end up chairing the meeting last night as the person who should have been doing it was claiming technical issues, so had himself off camera and muted. It was probably not a bad thing though, as this was one of the tasks the Deputy President does, and if I’m successfully elected in September, I’ll be in charge of next year.

My desired feeling:
Predisposed.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
Today is a bank holiday, but I need to treat it like a Sunday. Ironing needs to be done. Breakfast and lunch prep for the 2 days I’m at work this week needs doing. I WILL get a JWW done today, and we have a bell handling session this evening with our learners. There’s a bit of Admin to do as well, if I can get to the PC.

I‘ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
Blue jeans and a navy blouse with flowery pattern to it. Gibraltar bracelet, multistone hoop necklace and cuboid diamond stud earrings. Practical for housework and ringing with the blouse adding a touch of femininity.

I will show up for myself by:
Preparing healthy food for the work week and making a point of a JWW. I’ve been monitoring my BP and heart rate again for the last couple of days and nothing much has changed since I started taking tablets. Its lower than it was pre-tablets but still not getting two green lights.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
We might pop back to Hyde Hall today to look around the plants for something for the tub. Its raining today so doubt we’ll go too far.

I will show up for my extra ordinary goal by:
Stepping into the role of Deputy President at appropriate times. I think the current inincumbent is starting to loosen the reigns already and finding excuses not to be in charge of things he should be.

Today I am:
Gearing up.

Today I am grateful for:
Having had what seems like a long time off work. Essentially 5 days but that includes a non-working day and the weekend. With an extra days leave at the beginning and the bank holiday today, it seems like ages. Not that I’m complaining!