Relieved

I’m currently feeling:
Resigned.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
To the fact these past 3 days have undone all my weight loss and energy. Because we’ve been eating pub meals, there has been very limited options available, and none have brought out their summer menus, so everything is carb loaded and comes with chips. Got on the scales this morning and everything I had lost has gone back on already and there’s still today to go. BUT, I know come Sunday I will be back to meal prepping, portion control and consistent JWWs. I know this is but a passing phase.

My desired feeling:
Relieved.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
Last day of the course today and I have to admit, I have found it a slog this year. I don’t know if thats because I was not in the same group every day, so I haven’t been able to gel with a group in quite the same way. It will be interesting to see how today goes having joined them two days in. I don’t know whether it’s because I don’t feel my skills are being fully used, or I’m being pushed from pillar to post, or I’m not with C. It was interesting seeing another tutor and how they worked. Same for today, it will be interesting to see how this one works, and this being someone I already find it hard to get along with and who has bullied and triggered me in the past. I’ll be honest, I’ll be glad when today’s over, for a number of reasons.

I‘ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
Jeans again. Paired with black and while flecked jumper. Gibraltar bracelet, birthstones necklace and diamond stud earrings. Standard ringing outfit really. Its a bit cooler today so slightly thicker top. Will have to work hard today to join in with this group and their tutor, but will do my best.

I will show up for myself by:
Not allowing this particular tutor to get to me. I shall do as asked and otherwise keep out of it.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
Different church, although been there many times before, and different pub and lunch menu.

I will show up for my extra ordinary goal by:
I don’t suppose I’ll get a chance to get to the PC tonight to get at emails, as C will be sorting the clothing orders out. May just chill this evening and regroup tomorrow.

Today I am:
Working hard in many ways.

Today I am grateful for:
Knowing I’ll be back to “normal” tomorrow. Ringing in the morning, ironing, JWW, food prep, more ringing, get ready for the working week ahead. It’s been mostly a good 3 days but it does take it out of you. Will be back to work for a rest.