Unphased

I’m currently feeling:
Rested.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
Yesterday was a slow day. Got up, had bacon rolls, popped into town to get flowers and a friends birthday card and gift. Stopped off in Ann Summers and bought yet another set of bra and Knickers, in a colour I didn’t already have. I also bought a white body suit. I have an open knit top where the holes are quite big, so it needs something underneath it. I could wear a cami or similar, but being in a sexy kinda mood, decided that a body, with bust boosters would be fabulous. I will try it out next time we’re not going anywhere. We popped round to mum and dad’s to pick something up then drove the scenic route up to Nottingham. We arrived early evening and made contact with Emna to agree what the plan was. We ended up just the 3 of us, at the curry house opposite where we’re staying, then met Emma and Matthew for a drink and agreed the plan of action for today. A leisurely day.

My desired feeling:
Unphased.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
There will be a lot of Emma’s aunts there today, as well as the exwife, so C will get a lot of attention from them, as the favoured husband out of all of the ones she’s had. We are required to be there for the earlier part of the day too, when all the little people from nursery come to play. Then there’ll be a gap before the adult contingent are due to arrive. It will be a long day to be stuck with the ex and nowhere to escape to. Fortunately, it includes lots of ringers, so plenty other people we’ll know and can talk to. I want to come across as nonchalant about it all. I don’t want to be giving Emma any cause for concern. And I don’t want C to feel stressed about it more than he already might be. He’s made some comment about not wanting to get too involved, but I think he will put on the Mr NiceGuy act and be chatting and friendly with them all. I just hope certain people don’t get too drunk and too close.

I‘ll show up on purpose in my dress, body language and presentation by:
Going to be out in the garden all day, weather supposed to be cool and wet. Black jeans and lime green knitted jumper from Mint Velvet. Oliver Bonus matching green necklace and earrings, Gibraltar bracelet.

I will show up for myself by:
Being polite, not getting jealous, not allowing myself to get suspicious, being helpful and gracious.

I will upgrade my surroundings by:
BBQ at Emma’s, in the garden under cover and with R and C and lots of people we know.

I will show up for my extra ordinary goal by:
Chatting with lots of ringers and finding out what’s going on at grass routes level.

Today I am:
Weary.

Today I am grateful for:
R being here as support. At least I’ll have backup when C gets collared by ex family. I’m not really looking forward to and grateful C sometimes understands my unease about it, even though I have nothing tobe ashamed of. She left him before we got together but I’ve always felt the offending party. I’m sure they’re all lovely really, but I don’t like what she did to him, or how she continues to find ways to be aroud him when she can, and talk about times when they were together. Sometimes C gets frustrated by it and sometimes he goes with it. We’ve both agreed to not make it difficult for Emma and he even said he wasn’t going to hassle them about spending time with us.