Reluctant

I’m currently feeling
Reluctant.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
We have the Association Dinner this evening. It used to be an event I organised when I was Association Secretary. They used to be good, fun evenings, with interesting guest speakers, and entertainment. The last few years I’ve really not enjoyed them in quite the same way. Thev’re been ok and sometimes the guest speakers have been interesting or fun. But there seems to be fewer people going who we’d want to sit with. Last year we were put on the table of young ringers to babysit them as the couple who were supposed to be with them had gone down with illness, and the organiser figured we wouldn’t mind. It was fine, but there’s only so many topics of conversation you can have with 15 year olds! There’ll be even fewer people to talk with this year, as the date and venue was changed, and many who would have come are on a ringing tour in Australia. I’m sure it’ll be ok but I’m a bit reluctant about going.

My extraordinary goal for the year is…
To be financially savvy again. Planning for early retirement by getting back on track with understanding my savings, investments and pensions.

What result will I produce this month?
I will start to spend a bit on christmas now, but only on things for other people.

My tasks for the day is…
Let some visiting ringers in at the Cathedral and help them out for a couple of hours. Book a webinar event. Decide what to wear for the dinner. Get dressed up, wine and dine.

What thoughts are holding me back?
Depends on who we’re sat with. If C’s ex wife going again this year? What to wear?

What thought will I practice instead?
We’ll be sat at a table most of the night so no time to mix with others. If wifey is there I can look more stunning, plus we’re getting a taxi so C will be drinking. When he’s had a few he gets frisky.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to my style to embody my future self?
Burgundy fake leather trousers, lilac tshirt and burgundy cashmere cardigan to go ringing in. I’m not wearing any jewellry this morning as I’ll have dressy up stuff on later. Not sure yet what I’m going to wear this evening.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to align with my future self’s environment?
Try to convince C to eat an early lunch in town after ringing. Buy some fresh flowers on the way home this afternoon.

What am I excited to practice and improve?
Elegance. Grace. Poise.

My progress and my blessings
I have several evening dresses to close from and lots of lovely jewellry to pair with it. Just need to decide which dress.

What do I declare myself to be today?
Indecisive.

What questions can I ask of myself today?
What will I wear later? How can I pull off looking and feeling amazing? How can I be poised, graceful and charming?

What words of encouragement, insight, wisdom or humour does my future self have for me today?
Just focus on being with C. Look a million pounds on his arm. Be confident and elegant.