Remembering

I’m currently feeling
Remembering.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
We didn’t score yesterday’s peal in Ipswich. But, everytime I go there, I remember a previous life with my ex, and a ringing friend who sadly died too young. My ex decided, whilst we were living together that he wanted to move to Ipswich. There was no discussion, no agreement, no consideration of the upheaval. I was young, and thought this was the love of my life, so followed. It meant I had an hour commute to work but he wasn’t bothered. I started ringing at one of the towers in the town centre and met Simon. He was probably a few years older them me. He had dark curly hair, a beard and moustache. He really helped me develop as a ringer and was the first person to really push me to learn more. We got on really well, had similar sense of humour and despite both having partners, were quite familiar with each other, not physically, but there was a lot of flirting. I remember telling him I didn’t like “face fuzz” and the next time I saw him, he’d shaved his beard and moustache off completely. Peter (shit face) and I were supposed to get married, had a date set and everything but cancelled it on the grounds it no longer felt like a good idea. The day of our supposed wedding, there was a wedding to ring for. Simon was the only person I could tell why I didn’t want to ring for a wedding that day. He was so caring and understanding. I remember him telling me how his parents didn’t like his girlfriend at all. Apparently, one time they kept talking about me in front of her, and how lovely I was. This pissed her off, so she was pretty mean to me every time I saw her after that. Anyway, I moved back to Chelmsford and split up with shitface, and Simon died of a sudden brain aneurism a month or two later. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed in Ipswich. Woud Simon and I eventually have got together? Every time I go back to Ipswich to ring, I am reminded of his friendship and how he wrote out detailed instructions for me by hand of how to ring Cambridge Minor. I wish I could find that now.

My extraordinary goal for the year is…
To be financially savvy again. Planning for early retirement by getting back on track with understanding my savings, investments and pensions.

What result will I produce this month?
Only presents for birthdays and Christmas from here to the end of the year.

My tasks for the day is…
Ringing, ironing, food prep, maybe some Christmas present wrapping, reading and relaxing.

What thoughts are holding me back? 
I think I want to do a JWW but technically today is my second rest day. I can’t remember at the moment it I’ll get a chance on Monday, or if we have early learners practice.

What thought will I practice instead?
I’ll see how I feel later, and if the mood takes me, I’ll do a workout anyway.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to my style to embody my future self?
Jeans and blue and white nordic style jumper with cowl neck. Gibraltar bracelet, birthstones necklace and diamond hoop earrings. Comfortable, stylish and warm.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to align with my future self’s environment?
Brisk walk into town for ringing. Starting to get a bit Christmassy. Sort my work outfits out forthe week ahead.

What am I excited to practice and improve?
Week 2 of MYWCS has dropped, so see what nuggets it has to offer to help curtail the spending.

My progress and my blessings
I actually got some congergals last night. Don’t know why C was in the mood. Wasn’t going to say no!

What do I declare myself to be today?
Cosy.

What questions can I ask of myself today?
How can I maintain this feeling of calm, softness and pleasure? What can I notice throughout my day that provides moments of glimmer?

What words of encouragement, insight, wisdom or humour does my future self have for me today?
My head feels a little bit swimmy today so will be careful not to do too much spinning around or tossing my head back.