Concerned

I’m currently feeling
Concerned.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
Mildly concerned that as I was standing, chatting to C and R at the wake my fitbit watch buzzed, and had recorded my heart rate at being at 126bpm during a period of inactivity. I had no palpitations, no signs or anything. I was a bit warm and was on my second glass of red wine. But otherwise, no stress, no symptoms, nothing. I had banged my head on the tower doorway when we went up to ring before the service, but other than a slight headache for a few minutes, that was all. It’s the first time my fitbit was recorded an abnormal heart rythmn.  Mildly concerning but not overly worried as today my period has started with a vengance, so I guess it was a combination of being a bit too warm, red wine, a bang on the head and period. It was absolutely fine after that.

My extraordinary goal for the year is…
To be financially savvy again. Planning for early retirement by getting back on track with understanding my savings, investments and pensions.

What result will I produce this month?
No major expenses expected this month. C has a meeting with his financial advisor and I see via email my pension is on the list of discussion topics, even though I’m not there now have given either of them consent to discuss my finances.

My tasks for the day is…
We’re popping round to see M and little E before we head home. Big E has had to go to work. M wants us to destract little E while he fixes some of their outdoor Christmas decorations that got blown about in the wind. Drive home. Ring for a carol service, hopefully fit in a JWW before dinner then chill.

What thoughts are holding me back? 
I really want to squeeze in as many JWW as I can. I’ve figured out I could probably get another 6 in before the end of the year. I don’t want to lose momentum.

What thought will I practice instead?
There will definitely be days when I can’t do a workout and I will be ok with that, just plan them as my rest days.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to my style to embody my future self?
Black jeans, white patterned tshirt, alpine cardigan. Gibraltar bracelet, One & Eight hoop earrings and necklace again as I didn’t bother packing anything else just for a one night stop. Comfortable for the journey home and suitable for ringing later.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to align with my future self’s environment?
Spend a little bit of time with little E before we come home as we didn’t get to see her much yesterday. She’d gone to nursery as they’d decided a funeral wasn’t suitable for her.

Start to get into the Christmas spirit a bit more by ringing for Card Services today and tomorrow.

What am I excited to practice and improve?
Calm. Contemplation.

My progress and my blessings
We don’t tend to talk too much when he’s driving. Partly because he listens to Radio 4, so you end up paying attention to what they’re saying, partly he’s concentrating, partly we have nothing much to say. I use that time to watch the scenery go by and let my thoughts wander.

What do I declare myself to be today?
Relaxed.

What questions can I ask of myself today?
How do I make sure the blip in my heart rate was a one off? Never experienced it before, and don’t really want it to become a thing. If it happens again, guess I’ll contact the GP.

What words of encouragement, insight, wisdom or humour does my future self have for me today?
Quiet drive home. Bit of Christmassy stuff. A JWW if I can fit it in. A good day.