Survived

I’m currently feeling
Survived.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
Day 1. Even had to sit opposite C’s ex over dinner last night and held my own. C was quiet though. I didn’t get to ring what I wanted to because you have to appeal to the masses. Maybe I’ll press the point today. Fishface was in charge at some of the towers and tends to pander to those she’s trying to impress. H&J convivial company in the car as always. More people arriving today so we’ll need to get through the ringing even quicker. C not terribly attentive last night, we’ll see if he is his evening after he’s had a few more beers.

My extraordinary goal for the year is…
To be financially savvy again. Planning for early retirement by getting back on track with understanding my savings, investments and pensions.

What result will I produce this month?
Login to my M&G pension account to see what that status is. Also request an NHS Pension forecast.

My tasks for the day is…
Ringing, ringing and more ringing. Pub lunch, restaurant dinner. E, M&E joining today and possibly M’s dad. Will do my best to remain polite in certain people’s company.

What thoughts are holding me back? 
Having to spend my weekend’s with C’s ex. She’s not even supposed to be in this group. They agreed when they separated he would go to this group and she the other. But as usual, she doesn’t keep her end of the bargain.

What thought will I practice instead?
Just ring. That’s what I’m here for. If C doesn’t want to make me feel loved I’ll deal with it. He knows how I feel when she’s around and sometimes I think he gets a kick out of it. I even told him that once.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to my style to embody my future self?
Grey jeans, bamboo lilac long sleeved top with a purple ringing polo shirt over the top. Layering required for today I think. Gibraltar bracelet, One & Eight Tbar necklace and earrings again. Simple, practical.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to align with my future self’s environment?
Several more towers today, pub lunch, dinner in the restaurant this evening. Some different people arriving today, some of whom will be good fun. Not managing any other exercise but did hold a 1min 25s plank after I got out of the shower this morning!

What am I excited to practice and improve?
Civility around those who trigger.

My progress and my blessings
More people so less time required in the company of those I’d rather not be in.

What do I declare myself to be today?
Distant.

What questions can I ask of myself today?
How to remain civilised and be with others instead of getting sat near ex wifey all the time.

What words of encouragement, insight, wisdom or humour does my future self have for me today?
I was a bit in her face yesterday evening. We were sat diagonally opposite and involved in some of the same coverstations so I didn’t let her get the better of me. C was quite quiet really.