Surprised

I’m currently feeling
Surprised.

My thoughts creating this feeling:
I felt so much better yesterday. I got a bunch of emails cleared. At Costco we didn’t even hang around the bakery area. I did look at the workout equipment to see what sort of dumbells they had, which sparked a conversation later in the day. I read about half of a new book. I did most of a JWW. I couldn’t do all the reps as I kept coughing, but did more than I thought I’d be able to. Held a plank for 40 seconds, again had to stop because I couldn’t breath properly and was a bit worn out by then. The discussion we had about dumbells was around what size up next and my birthday coming up. I had given some thought about future gifting. I told C I didn’t want more chocolate, I’d had too much at Christmas. As we have Valentines, my birthday, his birthday and our wedding anniversary all in Feb and March, there’s a lot of gift giving in a short space of time. I told him I’d like the next size up dumbell but a specific one, I’d like some perfume, and a gold bangle style bracelet. He asked what sort of perfume so I said he’d have to find one that gets him going. He just hurumphed. I was surprised how forthright I was. I also told him he has to give me proper ideas of what to get him as his Christmas presents were so lousy because I didn’t know what to get. Then to cap it all off this morning, I’ve lost a couple of lbs on the scales of doom and now the lowest I’ve been since 7 November 2020! Utterly excited about that.

My extraordinary goal for the year is…
To be financially savvy again. Planning for early retirement by getting back on track with understanding my savings, investments and pensions.

What result will I produce this month?
I have to sign something to give C’s financial adviser permission to contact my previous pension companies, and send him my NHS Pension info.

My tasks for the day is…
Into town to collect my prescription and buy new flowers. Read, and hopefully finish my book. JWW now I’m back on it. Take most of the day as a chance to chill out. No hurry, no hassle.

What thoughts are holding me back? 
There is probably some more admin I ought to be doing and any responses to anything I sent out yesterday. Brother is hassling for a date for the family gathering in May.

What thought will I practice instead?
I’ll find dates for brother and get him off my back but lay some ground rules around it. Everything else can wait.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to my style to embody my future self?
Black jeans, grey very low cut jumper with pushup bra. Gibraltar bracelet and garnet necklace and earring set. A little showy, not that it’ll get me anywhere and can’t do anything this week anyway, but the view is pleasing. Feeling extra slim and sexy today.

What can I remove, elevate, upgrade or add to align with my future self’s environment?
New flowers day. Excited to see what they’ve got. Their first weekend back after their Christmas break.

What am I excited to practice and improve?
Self confidence. Made it clear to C what I did and didn’t want by way of gifts this year. I was actually quite forthright. Need to practice that more in other areas too.

My progress and my blessings
I really am happy with how yesterday panned out in terms of how I spent my day, being able to exercise a bit, and saying things I wanted to say.

What do I declare myself to be today?
Enthused.

What questions can I ask of myself today?
How can I repeat the vibes from yesterday? How can I work on saying what I want to say, or need to say, without feeling inferior, ashamed, belittled or embarrassed? I should be able to speak my truth in my marriage, of all places.

What words of encouragement, insight, wisdom or humour does my future self have for me today?
I told someone else this yesterday on Facebook, remember your why. Why are you doing this? Whose benefit are you doing it for? You don’t need anyone else’s permission.