Desiderate

My 30 Day Goal is:
Lose at least 8lbs.

Current Thought:
Interesting segment on the radio in the car yesterday. On Woman’s Hour, on Radio 4, they were discussing sexless marriages, and how it was driving some women into thinking about, or actually having, affairs. I’ve been in a sexless marriage for 2 years now but have never really considered having an affair. To be honest I can’t be bothered with all the subterfuge. Ours started when I woke up one night to C doing a bit of DlY. I don’t know if he realised I was awake but he never climaxed then turned over. The following evening we got down to it but after a lot of huffing and puffing, nothing happened. I started crying and he said it didn’t matter. He’s not as much as squeezed a boob since. I’ve often thought about trying to instigate something, but he very quickly pulls away and turns over. I have done some DIY sessions in the bathroom but that’s as far as it’s gone. I do still get horny, I do still want to be touched, and I do still want to be made to feel sexy. I was smiling at the radio discussion and wondering if he was listening properly and what he thought. Obviously, ours is a relationship where we don’t discuss anything important, especially not feelings as he has the “emotional range of a teaspoon”.

Current Emotion
Desiderate.

Todays Standard:
I am a woman who:
Picks herself up, dusts herself off, and straightens her crown.

Todays Sweet Spot:
I think:
I can be light and happy. Interact with others with magnetic charm and ease.

I feel:
stoic and resilient.

I do:
1) (body) walk into town. Lots of ringing. Workout later.
2) (mind) be happy in my own mind and space.
3) (soul) buy some fresh flowers for the first time in about a month, elevate my surroundings, elevate my mood.

Future Self Pep Talk:
Before jumping to conclusions collect more information about a person to understand why they behaved in a specfic manner.

Celebrations/Gratitudes:
Dedined lots of lovely treats we could have bought in Costco. Read lots yesterday. Didn’t do any of the admin I may have thought about, and didn’t feel guilty about it.